When you were a little kid, you looked forward to the day that you were a “grown-up” and you would never be told what to do ever again. If you’re a grown-ass adult reading this you’ll know this day has never come.
People love to tell you how to live your life, run your relationships and pretty much anything in between. Everyone loves to give advice, but I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to follow it. I’m recommending doing what makes sense in your heart instead.
Despite my friends and family’s encouragement, I have held a firm stance on my uterus and it’s part in repopulating this planet. While having a child can be a wonderful, enriching experience for many, to me it’s just not in the cards.
Not because it’s complicated, or I have issues conceiving, but because I enjoy my freedom too much. I enjoy selfishly enjoying time with husband uninterrupted, and spending hours writing blogs, and travelling the world playing ball hockey, and basically anything else that I care to enjoy in my lifetime. And me and my husband are on the exact same page on the matter, which is a total bonus!
Not having children is quite liberating actually. I understand that kids are needy, I also understand my own needs. And I do not see compatibility there. It’s that simple.
But it wasn’t always this way. I spent many nights spent crying at the fact that I felt defective as a woman. I wondered why I didn’t have this massive wave of maternal desires like all my best friends. I worried what people would think when they found out I couldn’t be bothered to have children of my own. It was a tough time in my life trying to figure this all out.
People incessantly telling me I was making a mistake made matters even more difficult.
This blog was written specifically for two types of people:
To the first group, understand that this choice is yours and yours alone (and obviously your partner as well) and no one needs to understand but you. Everyone with an opinion also has a perfectly good life in which they can live by their own advice, and have a small litter of children if they want. But you, you need to do YOU, and do it unapologetically. I’m officially giving you permission to live the life of YOUR dreams, not someone else’s dream for you.
To the second group, consider this your official notice that it is none of your business what us women do with our reproductive organs. If we want to have kids, we will, and if we don’t, we won’t. It is not up to you to decide. I would never tell someone to not have a kid, because it’s too stressful. Or that they may regret their decision when those two hours of sleep a night become too much. Nope, that would be inappropriate. But people have no problem telling me I’ll regret it and saying that I haven’t lived life fully without kids.
I dream of living in a world where people can simply live the life they imagine for themselves. A life where having a child, or not having a child, are both excellent options. I feel like we are making progress, but we’ve still got a ways to go.
I honestly don’t care what anyone does with their lives, as long as they are happy and not hurting anyone in the process. I think we can all adopt this in our lives, and learn to accept people’s decisions even if they are not what we would do in their situation.
I’ve made this blog about babies, when really the lesson applies to all areas in our life.
Be you. Do you. And do it unapologetically.
You do not need permission to live a life that brings you joy, and that makes sense to you.
Happiness is our birthright. Each and every one of us gets this opportunity. So let’s make a pact today to not only chase our dreams and desires, but to support those around us doing the same.
I’m sending you all love, light and acceptance for all,