Love is a beautiful thing. A scary thing. It's a lot of things to a lot of people.
As a child I learned that love was earned. I felt like I was only deserving of love if I was exceptional. And I felt even more deserving of love if I was perfect.
Love felt like something one could only receive from someone else. It was a special resource that was limited to those who found their perfect match.
No wonder I constantly felt a lack of it.
And when I'd experience a difficulty in finding enough love, I'd self-medicate through alcohol or I'd attack those I felt hurt me. Or attack myself, I was big into self-punishment back then.
The reason my heart never felt fulfilled is because I refused to seek unconditional love from the one source who was always available to love me: myself.
When you take that bold move and decide to love yourself, you leave the potential to live without love in the dust. Because no matter how many people don't love you, you love yourself. Regardless of how many people leave you behind, you don't ever leave yourself behind.
Self love gives you an inner strength that makes external relationships much less scary. It gives you that back-up chute when you're falling hard. It gives you a kind presence within when you're hurting and you need some comforting words. It gives you your ultimate best friend.
Because people come and go, but you always have you. People can let us down, but we can choose not to let ourselves down.
This isn't to say external relationships don't enrich one's life, because they most certainly do. But if I were to ask you to make a list of all the things in the world that you love, how long would it take you to name yourself?
The relationship we keep with ourselves sets the bar for every other relationship we have. How can we expect others to love us when we don't love ourselves?
A partner can never fill the void you have in your heart for unconditional self love and acceptance. Only you can do that.
So take this blog as your sign that you need to be more kind to yourself. Stop criticizing yourself. You're doing the best you can with what you've got, and that is enough for today. You'll take your lessons and you'll be wiser tomorrow.
Start the journey to self love today by choosing that you are worthy of unconditional love. Spend some time over the next few days to listen to your inner chatter. Are your thoughts building you up or beating you up? Choose to absorb the empowering thoughts, and discard those that are disempowering.
The simple fact that you've read this blog tells me you are ready to start this relationship with yourself. I believe in you, and your wonderful spirit. You deserve a life filled with love and acceptance, and I nominate you to be the one to give it to yourself. And if you currently have a partner, they can fill in the gaps.
Sending love, light and self acceptance,