Have you ever ordered food at a restaurant and were so excited about it, but as the food arrived you saw what your friend ordered and in an instant you regretted your decision? Your dinner now sitting next to your friend’s magnificent selection might as well be cat shit.
This is a simple example of how comparisons can steal our joy. Life works in the very same way.
We could be trotting along our lives doing really great things, you could even go so far as being proud of yourself, but -poof- in an instant, compared to the efforts of someone else, your life might as well be cat shit.
If you want to legitimately feel good about yourself, you’ve got to quit comparing yourself to others.
Here’s three things you may not consider while making comparisons:
Social Media is Filtered (Duh)
That fitness star you look up to on IG isn’t taking a photo of their food baby after eating too much pizza, or their rolls when they are sitting down. Their photos are posed, angled and filtered AF to make the best of that near perfect lighting in their bathroom (I am just as guilty as they next gal). Whether it’s friends or idols, all we see on social media is what other people want us to see. So comparing ourselves to a small displayed portion of someone’s life is unrealistic and not empowering.
Real Life is Filtered Too!
Excluding our very best friends, we very rarely hear of anyone really struggling. Because as humans we want to appear valuable, undamaged and respectable. We won’t openly disclose the personal matters that we struggle with. Many of us may believe we are the only ones who suffer, who struggle, & who have “issues” but I assure you this is not the case. Most people simply aren’t comfortable sharing their struggles with the world. Again, we only see and know what people want us to know. So comparing our lives (the good, the bad & the ugly) with others is not realistic, accurate or empowering.
No One CAN Compare To You
This is not some BS “rah-rah” talk, this is real life: no one on this planet can compare to you, period. You are completely unique. You’re a product of a lifetime of situations, encounters, relationships, strengths, weaknesses and perfect imperfections. No one has walked a mile in your shoes, and therefore no one can compare to you.
We are all doing the very best we can with the skills, the knowledge, the experiences and the history that we have. If we compare ourselves to others, let me remind you that we are comparing --
apples to oranges, and pineapples, and grapefruits
We are all too different to compare to one another. So if you see that someone has what you want, never allow that to rob you the joy of what you currently have.
You don’t know what it took to get there, it could have taken them their entire lifetime. Or perhaps they cheated. Or maybe they don’t really think all that you believe they do? Perhaps it’s all an illusion. Perhaps you not having everything you’ve ever wanted is an illusion too?
We can’t control our outcomes, only our output, effort and attention we put into our lives and areas of interest. So focus on yourself:
On your efforts.
On your improvements.
On how you feel about yourself, not others.
Happiness comes from within, so why are you looking outside yourself for validation that you’re “good enough?” That’s what comparisons are for right: to see how you’re doing compared to others?
You do not need to “stack up” to anyone. Life is not a competition.
You just need to be yourself, that is more than enough. You are a fucking miracle in motion, and you are much to great to be so hard on yourself. So know right now that you are good enough “as-is” today, right now, in this moment.
Love yourself for all that you are, and forgive yourself for what you’re not.
Strive to do your very best each day, and let that be enough.
Sending self love & acceptance,