It was mere hours after I posted my last blog that I heard the news of my beloved Grandma passing away.. Apparently my 29th year wasn’t done with me yet. I will post a blog in the near future about the super-sized grief I experienced, but in the meantime: I’d like to dedicate this blog, and anything I ever accomplish in my life to my Nanny. May you shine bright and sing loudly with the angels.
To round off my Dirty Thirty Wisdom, I’m sharing the valuable lessons I learned from surviving Canada’s worst natural disaster in history. On May 3rd a wildfire ripped through Fort McMurray and forced all 88k residents to evacuate. We were not allowed to return for almost a month. It was devastating and difficult, but once the dust settled, and I found my new sense of normal, I found these little gems in the rubble of the disaster.
You Are Never Alone
My faith in humanity was completely restored during this disaster. During one of the worst times of my life, the very best came out in people all over Canada and beyond. The donations, the support, and the selfless action of strangers are what will stick in my memory forever. It was surreal, it was overwhelming, and it made the very worst of times much better. I always believed we were all interconnected, but the love I received while going through this disaster confirmed my suspicion.
You Are Stronger Than You Think
Working a 26 hour shift following the evacuation gave me a unique opportunity to really push myself to the limits. Upon re-entry I also took on a job that was way beyond anything I ever thought I would be able to do, but I did it. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and when we are pushed to our absolute limits we soon realize that we can do much more than we originally expected. So as difficult and uncomfortable as circumstances may be, we can know whole-heartedly that the tough times will bring out the best in us.
Let That Shit Go
Whether it’s grief or the fact that you don’t think you should be grieving at all, after a traumatic experience you need to let that shit go. Grieve however feels right for you. We must give ourselves permission to unravel, to let it all out, to feel the feels. Emotions are an indicator that something needs to change, and bottling it up only delays the inevitable. I did not lose my home in the YMM Fires, so there was a time that I didn’t feel I had the right to grieve when others had lost so much, but that was a load of BS. I lost a lot that month: my certainty, my peace and I felt the loss of everyone around me. I had to let that shit go, and when I did I was able to regroup and reconnect with myself again, which brought on the healing I needed to move on.
Things Will Always Get Better
No matter how much we’ve lost, how hurt we’ve been, or how difficult our lives have been thus far: things will always get better. But we’ve got to believe it is possible in order for it to happen. The first step in living a good life is to believe that you’ve already got one. Count your blessings, trust that life is here to serve you and all is going according to plan. It may not be your plan, but what if there is a much better plan for you than you could ever create for yourself? Believe it. Know that things will get better, and prepare for the miracles awaiting you just around the corner. Remember that there are many things in our lives that are completely out of our control, but our perception and the choices we make are never one of them.
Life never gives us more than we can handle. It may seem like it at times, but life is simply helping us grow. Strength is built through resistance, and as much as I joke about having a shitty year, I have come to a place where I can appreciate the poop. It’s making me a wiser, stronger, better version of myself.
Perhaps my thirties will be kinder to me. Maybe they won’t. It doesn’t really matter. I know whatever I need to experience and learn is exactly what will come to me. It will be perfect for what will serve my soul.
My twenties were about finding myself. About doing almost everything wrong. It was about being messy but learning to love myself anyways. I’m not quite sure what my thirties will be about, but I can’t wait to find out. Rest assured, I’ll keep you all posted.
Sending love, light, and so much gratitude,