Happy #BisexualAwareness Day!!!
Call us indecisive all you want, but we like it both ways. Why do we have to choose in the dating pool?
Bisexuals are open-hearted and their "type" has less to do with your sex (M/F) and more to do with your personality, is that really such a bad thing? Like Lady Gaga said “We Were Born This Way” and in honour of #BisexualAwareness Week I’ve rounded up 5 Misconceptions that Drive Bisexuals Crazy.
1. It’s Just a Phase
Yes, most bisexuals you know probably started dating one sex or the other, and eventually as their personal evolution grew, so did their dating pool. Sure, you may be feeling a little confused about it, perhaps your bisexual friend or family member is a little confused too. But isn’t that something they should have the privilege of figuring out on their own, rather than you telling them that what they are doing is just a phase?
There’s a very real possibility that the attraction to both sexes has been with them for a very long time, and they are finally experimenting now. Let them be. After all, bisexuals aren’t judging you for being “narrow-minded” and only looking at one sex in your relationships now are they? Doesn’t it seem a little odd for you to be judging them for keeping an open-mind and figuring out what works best for them?
2. Bisexuals Are Just Indecisive
Nope, we are not indecisive. We have clearly made the decision that sex (M/F) is not a factor in who we fall in love with. If we click, we click. I think that this is something very beautiful about bisexuals. We have so much love in our hearts to give that we legit do not care whether you are male or female. Bravo!
3. You’re Not Gay
Yes bisexuals do things a little differently, and we aren’t quite as picky when it comes to male or female partners, but why does that have to be such a bad thing? No we don’t fit perfectly into the “Gay or Straight” category, nor do we need to.
I constantly hear we live in a free country, so why must we fit into this black and white concept of sexuality? We like the grey, a lot. LGBT – there’s a special little B in there just for us, and while we may not be strictly gay, we swing both ways and need some support too!
I felt just as confused growing up as a bisexual woman because I liked both sexes. I felt like I couldn’t quite commit to anything. I would ask myself “what does that make me?” Awesome! That makes me awesome.
We are all awesome, regardless of any preferences in any areas of our lives.
4. You’re Married So You Are No Longer Bisexual
I get it, I’m married to a man. But this does not take any validity away from my bisexual nature. Sexual Orientation is defined as the influence of a person’s sexual interest and attraction for another person. Last time I checked those feelings still exist after you are married. Am I currently acting on those attractions? Of course not - I’m married! But the fact remains: I’m married to a man, but still Bi AF inside. Deal with it. I’m totally satisfied in my marriage, just as a heterosexual or homosexual would be in theirs. But my marriage does not define me, nor my sexuality.
5. It is 2015, who cares if your LGB or T?
I wish this was the truth, and while acceptance of the LGBT community is getting better (even in the almost 10 years since I’ve come out) I still find myself nervous about even making this post. In the past (due to my sexual orientation), I’ve had family members disown me, friends mock me, and women suddenly become uncomfortable around me because now I must be lusting for them (lol). But it’s officially Bi Visibility Day this beautiful September 23rd, so what the heck, I’m posting it any ways!
The moral of this story is compassion and understanding. And if you can’t understand where the LGBT community is coming from the least you can do is respect that they are doing what best suits them.
If you don’t like it, you can live your life according to your own rules and probably live very happily. But understand that we are all unique and beautiful creatures and we all deserve to be happy. And love is a wonderful way to create a rich and fulfilling life, so who gives a damn who you fall in love with, just so long as your relationships are empowering and good for you!
Whether you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or straight: I love you, and I wish you all the happiness in the whole wide world. Imagine what the world could be like if there was no groups or categories, and we could all just be free to BE! And free to love whoever we choose.
One day, my loves, one day.