Three Steps to Self Love

​Have you ever wanted to radically change your life but didn’t even know where to start? 

Me too.

I talk about self love all the time, I’m like a broken record, but this week I’m going to start with the basics on how we can practise self love each and every day.

When we love ourselves, our lives begin to work. We have an unlimited source of support and approval. We rely less on external recognition, we become unshakeable, we find beauty in each moment, and our happiness flows endlessly. This is how life is supposed to be. We are not suppose to be our own enemies. We aren’t meant to feel like we need to earn love. We ARE love. We were created in love, and we can create our own love and joy when the times are tough.

Learning to love yourself will be the greatest thing you ever learn. It will transform every area of your life. It will transform your experience in this life.

Let me start by saying there was a period in my life (approximately 25 years or so.. But who’s counting) where I NEVER in a million years could have imagined loving myself.

My need to be perfect far exceeded the notion that I needed to love myself. Plus I was wayyyy too good at hating myself to quit now. Sound familiar?

I’m asking you to open your mind and your heart to the possibility of starting a new relationship with yourself. Perhaps this is a chance to just simply start liking yourself. Baby steps are good too! 

The following few steps will get you started on your journey:

​
Decide Right Now That You Are Good Enough

Decide that you are totally and completely worth loving. Not because of your IQ, achievements, or offerings but just because you are YOU. That’s enough. You are lovable on your worst day. So decide for no good reason that you are good enough just as you are, and agree to love yourself without conditions. Love yourself “as-is”. Love yourself because no one is more deserving of your love than YOU.

Stop All Criticism

We are the most influential people we will talk to all day, and are our thoughts building us up, or beating us up? We are the only people who can think in our minds, which means we have the power to choose how we want to treat ourselves. If your best friend made a mistake you wouldn’t ram in down their throat and tell them how pathetic you are. That is because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, because it is cruel and because you love them. So why be so cruel to ourselves?When a baby is learning to walk, they fall many times, and a parent doesn’t scold them for it. They encourage them to keep going. That is unconditional love, and it is our turn to receive this love from ourselves as well. Be kind, be patient and be loving. And if you slip up and are mean to yourself, forgive yourself immediately and jump right back on the “I love myself” bandwagon.

Stop All Comparisons

Comparing does not accomplish a damn thing except rob us of our joy. Who cares what anyone else is doing? We are not in competition with anyone. We are totally unique individuals, no one else can compare with us. We are doing the best we can with what we’ve got, and when we’ve got more, we’ll do even better. But until then, be proud of yourself for all you’ve done. Focus on your progress over the myth that is perfection. Rejoice in who you are, rather than being disappointed in who you aren’t.

These three steps are more like three choices; because physically we won’t be doing anything at all. It’s all internal. We have about 60,000 thoughts in a day, and many of those repeat every single day. So I’m challenging you to start this journey. You won’t be perfect, I promise you. You’ll have 60k opportunities to choose the old way of doing things. So just try your best, and see how many times you can choose the new loving way to think and speak to yourself.

You are worth it. You are enough. And loving yourself is a gift that keeps on giving. If you can’t think of a good enough reason to start loving yourself, think of your children and friends. You are a role model for many people in your life, although you may not know it. 

When you love yourself unconditionally, you give others permission to do the same. 

If that isn’t motivating, I don’t know what is?

Sending love & light,
-L.K.