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Blogs for Your Well-Being

The Worst Question to Ask a Non-Parent

7/29/2017

Comments

 

Okay, I get it. When you live your life a little out of the ordinary, people are going to have questions. But this question.. This is just over the top, morbid and IMO unacceptable.

The question I'm referring to (that I HAVE been asked personally) is this:
What of your husband dies young? What will you do without kids?

{pause for dramatic silence}

Yes, this is actually a question someone has asked me. And although I'm sure their intentions were golden, it was a shitty question, and one that I hope you have never hear. From another mouth and especially not your own.

 Quick recap, I am not against people having children, I'm just against myself having children. Simply because they are too much damn work for my preferred lifestyle.

But here's the thing, does having kids really help the situation? Sure I'd have my offspring to hang out with, perhaps even find a couch to sleep on, but couches to sleep on can be found even if I'm childless.

Living a more selfish (childless) life might actually be beneficial in the case that I find myself alone at a young age. I'l have hobbies, and friends, and not to mention that my hubby and I are super duper fitness focused because we have no responsibilities beyond work and getting our asses in the gym.

So barring some freak accident like running with the bulls, I don't forsee an early departure on either ends of our marriage.

The moral of the story is this: there are plenty of perfectly good reasons to make a baby (IF you're into that sort of thing) but making offspring for company in the off chance that your elite athlete husband dies before you IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

So if you have any questions about my non-mom lifestyle, by all means ask, but perhaps skip a beat first and think about whether or not it's the dumbest question in the world first. 

To all the happy moms out there, I'm fulfilled knowing that you are fulfilled.

To all the non-moms out there, I know it's hard sometimes following your own path, but keep doing you and do it unapologetically. People will always have their opinions of how you should live your life, and be sure to remind them that you a) did not ask for their opinion but b) they are free to use their own wisdom in their life, while you live a life that sets YOUR soul on fire! You life is unique, and just for you (and anyone you choose to share it with) so never ever feel bad for doing things that make sense to you. That's what life is about, and I'm proud of you for adulting and recognizing that maybe parenthood isn't for you, yet, or ever.

Sending love & light,
​-L.K.
child free and happy
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