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Blogs for Your Well-Being

How to Stay Calm When You Wanna Choke a B*tch

4/3/2016

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We meditate, drink our greens drinks and honour our lovely Buddha statues, but sometimes spiritual people get mad too.

Despite our best intentions people get on our nerves, circumstances become overwhelming and we begin to feel negative. It happens to the best of us.

This blog isn't about how to live a life of 100% happiness and joy, because let's be real: life happens. There are a full spectrum of emotions that we experience, and they are all natural and totally normal. And they all serve us in a pretty amazing way, if we allow them to.

Emotions are simply our mind's way of letting us know whether or not we are in alignment with our values and beliefs. When we are feeling negative, there is probably something in your life that needs to be changed. Simple as that.


Check out this video blog where I explain how to stay calm when you wanna choke a bitch. I'll admit maybe that's a bit extreme, but it's also kind of funny because who hasn't felt that rage?!

​After the video I'll be sharing some simple tips to simmer down when you're ready to throw down.

​Tips for recollecting your cool:
  1. Rather than running from your emotions, explore them. Get away from the infuriating person or situation, find a quiet place and begin analyzing the emotions you feel. Suppressing your emotions will only give them more power down the road. What is the root cause? What is this really about? What can you actually control about this situation? What can be learned from this?
  2. Recognize that other people are just showing you your own stuff that needs work. I really, truly hated hearing this the first time but we must embrace the fact that people in our lives are often our PETs (Personal Emotional Teachers) and they are pointing out our own weak points, whether it's our patience, poor communication, or lack of assertiveness. There is always a takeaway from people's ridiculously frustrating behaviour. The key is to find it and learn a lesson from it.
  3. Try to understand that everyone does the very best they can with what they've got. Forgiveness comes from a state of understanding. When you understand someone you begin to feel compassion for them. Everyone does the best they can with the skills, wisdom and abilities that they have, or else they'd be doing better. No one is perfect, not even you, so try to understand that we're all figuring this life thing out as we go. People have a basic human need for love and connection, and we've all devised f*cked up ways of getting it, many people who drive you crazy are simply using what they've learned to connect. Be mindful of their own struggles.
  4. Set clear boundaries with people. Often our frustration with others comes from an underlining issue of not setting clear boundaries for our relationships. Be brave and open up those lines of communication and express your need for boundaries with people. I've told people at my work that I am on a "negativity cleanse" because I couldn't handle the constant bitching of certain co-workers. That made them bring their drama to other people because they knew I wasn't going to listen. It was a simple enough request, but it's very uncomfortable setting these boundaries up initially, especially if you've lived your entire life as a people pleaser.
  5. Read the Serenity Prayer. I love this prayer so much I have it tattooed on my ribs: God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference. {Ah-Freakin-Men!!!!}

Can you think of any tips I didn't mention? Comment below, I'd love to hear them!

At the end of the day, love and understanding is what nurtures our relationships, our growth and the satisfaction in our lives. When people drive you crazy, find a way to rise above it all and send them love. When you do that, you will both feel better.

Find the things that you can control, and focus your energy on those things. Focus on the positives over the negatives. And if you find yourself going down a negative road, remember that every moment is an opportunity to choose again, to choose better.

Sending love, light, and calm vibes,

-L.K.
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